I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
