No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
