yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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