Grow some girl-balls and come out already
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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