Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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