i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
