Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
