She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
