the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
