We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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