Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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