i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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