Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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