Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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