Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
