I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
