its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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