What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
