That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
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Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
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The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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