Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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