i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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