And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
