i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize