i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
