I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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