I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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