We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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