I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We are all done wearing pants today
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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