just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
