did you get engaged???
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
