They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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