Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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