I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
