I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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