OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
