do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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