I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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