This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
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His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
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You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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