People in love make me want to vomit
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
