Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
