There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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