Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
