So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
