just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
