Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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