My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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