Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
