I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
