We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
