I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
