i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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