He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
