The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize