well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize