We're facebook friends in real life
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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