Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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