What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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