I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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