at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
